Just a thought....
Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

Saturday, 18 December 2010

Who is your friend?

Totally not my photography, just in case you needed to ask ; )

Really. Who do you call a friend? Is it the person who chats to you every day? Is it the one who always comments on your blogs? Or perhaps sends you a Christmas card? Is it the one you pop out for coffee with? Perhaps it's the one you share your deepest secrets with... or uncontrollable laughs. Is your friend the one you can call when things are looking dark? Do you call your friend when things are looking good? What about when you think the friend needs you? Do you call? Or wait to be called. I could go on a long time here : ) 

Thing is, friendships shift and change and brighten and fade.... kaleidoscopic colours adding prisms of beauty to our lives.

Have you ever looked into a kaleidoscope and watched the colours change, seemingly in endless layers? It doesn't take much movement to create new prisms of colour, shifting, changing... constantly changing. When friendships fade, it hurts... very much, but I'm grateful for the richness of colour they gave my life. New friendships are fun to explore, discovering their depth and getting comfortable with their hues.

When I was a young girl, I dreamt of having a 'best friend forever'. As a teen, that longing just intensified with the usual teen angst. By the time I grew up and looked around at all my friends and their respective 'best friends', I had missed that particular boat - regular moving around saw to that. Well, I wasn't really alone. I found myself married and creating a new and very special friendship with my daughters... and husband, of course. In later years, my daughter was to become that elusive 'bff'. That will never change. It's the one friendship that strikes a very deep chord in me for a thousand reasons. It's also colourful, shifting and changing as we each grow. Luckily our bond is tighter than a regular friendship.

The friendships I wanted to mention here are somewhat more intangible, something we don't see very often and can often wait a whole lifetime to experience. They don't usually stick around for a long time either, though sometimes they do.

The top image was so perfect to illustrate what I wanted to say in a most unusual way. A little while back, I reached out to a number of friends, asking for help. Help came, but in a very unexpected way. It came through friends, yes... then it came through friends of friends... and the net widened to include friends of those friends. A chain was formed. I had people writing to me who were referred by a friend who knew a friend who received an email or call from a friend I wrote to. I heard from friends I hadn't heard from in a long time. I heard from total strangers who are now friends. For those dying to know, Tat will be staying with people who I already know are wonderful people (just the fact that they're opening their home to a total stranger), are South African and even come from the same neighbourhood we did!! Yes, Katey... they're from Hillcrest! ♫ It's a small world after all... ♫

Anyway, the point I was trying to make with this is that we never know where friendship will come from, be it made of the sturdy day-to-day stuff of sharing life's moments or a previously unimagined distant connection that fits so well. I want to thank all of you who responded... from the bottom of my heart. It meant the world to me!

Ps. Katey, while I was looking for a kaleidoscopic image, I found something you can use with your kidlets that looks like huge fun! Kaleidoscopic milk!


  1. That is AWESOME news about Tat, Tint! Wow ... you've witnessed a few small miracles, I feel. :) I hope that just because I've been a little scarce, I'm not one of those you consider "fading" ...

  2. I am one who is lucky because while I have a couple friends that I talk to daily or so, my dearest friends I don't talk to that often yet we pick up right where we left off and can totally count on one another, a good thing. I think also as I grow older friends are more important to me than most 'family' via relatives-- ultimately your friends are your real family, the family that you choose.
    I consider you a new friend and am lucky to have met you!

  3. This is a truly beautiful blog.

    Here's hoping for a richly blessed holiday for you!

  4. I'm so EXCITED that you found someone! It's really been on my mind so much!! YAY!! And they must be nice if they're from Hillcrest!! WHO?? And as you say, these friendships are special in so many ways. I agree with you and you are a wonderful friend to have. And I can't wait for you to morph into a 3D friend! :)

  5. What a blessing that prayers have been answered! I'm out of the loop, not being able to be on here enough to catch up with everyone, but I hope to remedy that over the holidays :)

    Friends come in so many varieties, don't they! You wrote this so eloquently, and the photos are fun!

  6. So happy things worked out for Tat ... the way they always should, people helping people.

    The easiest way to know who your friends are (or aren't)... is when you need help.

    The internet is a bit different... I get a bit disappointed in those who do not look at or comment on other peoples posts, only their own, and even then they do not respond to MY comment on their site. If I comment on someones site dozens of times and they never even read one of mine... apparently I am not a friend of theirs...so...I turn elsewhere. Some only go online once every few months but do check in on my site... they are a friend.

  7. Kippy, I live for miracles : ) And friends...

    Marty, I have a couple of friends like that... where time and separation doesn't change the kind of conversation we're likely to have when we do get talking. Sadly, though, I get to talk to them briefly about once a year. I totally agree about friends being family, though having found my family so recently, I treasure them more. I'm lucky to have met you too : )

    Thanks Sandy! And the same to you!

    Michelle... you are SO part of this wonderful story, my friend!

    Katey, I'll email you with details. I love the idea of morphing into 3D. Can't wait!! We'll have far too much fun! Trying to think of how I can ditch Jurgis in London LOL

    Faye, I sent pm's to those who'd be likely to be able to help, so not everyone was involved. Don't worry about it. I have been online very sporadically myself. I love that friends come in so many varieties. It makes life interesting :)

    Thanks Bert! I'm happy too, believe me. Strangely, my very good friends are often those who can't help. I know that, being where I am, I am seldom able to help. I hope I'm not considered less than a friend for that : ) The one time I don't really comment is with political posts. I tend to look, frown, squint a little this way, squint a little that way, shake my head and still confused, wander off. Politics go way over my head.

  8. Hmm now your blog made me think about what kind of friend I am to many people. I do love reading your blogs, but I'm really bad about commenting. Naughty girl,... I'll work on that. Have to also work on not closing down. When I go through emotional lows I tend to isolate myself from everyone, even my sisters. Another area I need to improve on. Anyway I love reading all your stuff. I must get more into doing some writing myself. I think of you fondly always. xx

  9. hmmmm, interesting view on how friendship and need for friendship can change in years and life time..

  10. Since I'm new to your page, I'm not sure who Tat is, but YAY!

    I found out that I had an awesome group of online friends this past Christmas then I reached out for kind thoughts for my brother. The community on her truly pulled together, beyong my wildest dreams and truly amazed me!

    Group Hug! *shakes Kippy's hand cuz she hates hugs* heheh

  11. *laughing* Thanks, Laura. ;) You should blog about your brother's Christmas ... I hope it was a good one?

  12. lol Kippy....good minds think alike!

  13. Marina, it's always good to see you!! I often wonder how you're doing. We need to talk soon, my friend.

    Tori, ever changing... that's us.

    Laura, Tat (Tatiana) is my daughter. She's living oceans away from me and I miss her terribly... and, naturally, it's soo hard to be mom at a distance! Yes, good things do happen and there are wonderful people out there!


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