I remember two of us kids standing in the lounge, putting on a show. We did a very enthusiastic version of Sonja Heroldt's "Jantjie". I remember grape vines. I remember a pool on the other side of the wall that I was a little leery of swimming in. I remember looking up the ladder to the loft and wondering what was up there, too afraid to climb and find out. There was a forest nearby, at least, to me, it was a forest. We used to go there as kids. I remember late at night, Ouma and I running after the train and just barely making it.

I don't have many memories though. I remember my uncle as clearly as though he were standing next to me. My aunt, I remember well, as she is the last one we saw, shortly after Jorge and I got married. I have often wondered where my cousins are now. Last week, I looked my one cousin up, the only male. I started with him, as his name is unusual and the girls would be married by now with different names.

I got an e-mail this morning. I held my breath as I opened it. I barely got through the first line before I had to leave the room and regain control of my runaway emotions which have been on a roller coaster for the rest of the day. It seems that my cousins have been looking for Hamish and I as well. I have spent the day going through Facebook photos and web sites. I like the family I have found... so far. I am afraid of the ghosts, but pleased anyway. We have all changed and grown. The exciting part for me is that they want the contact too. I have decided to treat this as a new meeting. The old ghosts can be put to rest. The question now is, will they like me? I sure hope so. It will be good to have some of my family back again. Who knows, maybe I'll find the rest soon too.