Goodbyes are never easy

I think I have too many blog posts around with that sentiment. Some day, we’ll actually be in one place long enough to avoid having to say that. On the other hand, we are making good friends all over, people who find little niches in our hearts and get comfy there. We’re also not too far from Killruddery, so if we have a mind to, we can go back to visit. To put it mildly, Killruddery was a special place with very special people. We will miss it terribly.

In spite of the heartsore, we left with good ‘vibes’. The Thursday before we left, we went to dinner with Anthony and Fionnuala. It was a relaxed, informal affair where we chatted about our plans, The Cottage, plans for Killruddery and general waffle as conversations go. Friday was the start of the second weekend of the Christmas Fair, so we didn’t really get to speak at length with anyone. Fair time tends to be a crazy headless-chicken run-around for all staff. Saturday was spent in a futile attempt at packing, knowing all the while that there would be no time to pack on the Sunday. I did, however, manage to fit in a little milk tart making!

Sunday morning, I cleaned up while Jurgis chased deer and fed pigs. We had a lunch date with Lord and Lady Meath. Lunch with the Meaths was unusual, especially as we weren’t ‘regular’ staff. They were wonderful! We had a lovely roast beef dinner with wine. I think I have a new alcoholic passion…. ginger wine! Ooh, it was delicious! It reminded me very much of my old favourite cocktail, the ginger square. Of course, it doesn’t take much to get me to imbibe ginger in any form. We chatted about anything and everything, from deer fencing and pigs to trips along the Garden Route to saving tiger turd in Nepal. Warm, and definitely fond on our part, farewells were said and good wishes abounded before we rushed upstairs in the hopes of getting the roast done before our visitors were due.

We had Mirek and Larissa, our Polish and Russian friends, over for dinner, another wonderful couple to whom I owe a debt of friendship…. even if Mirek ate my mushrooms! I did a pork roast and served milk tart for dessert. We drank to everyone’s health with a fine bottle of pro seco bubbly that was given to Jurgis on his birthday. We’d kept the bottle to celebrate the arrival of his papers, but figured celebrating friendship was a grand occasion to open it. As usual with Mirek and Larissa, we laughed a lot in a variety of languages. It was a good evening. Though I paced the floors for hours afterwards, drifting between intense sadness, happiness and frustration over the still-unpacked goods, I knew all was well and would turn out fine.

Monday, all thoughts of ‘turn out fine’ were forgotten in my wailing and gnashing of teeth over cases that wouldn’t close. I went downstairs to say goodbye to Aislin and Cathrine. Gosh, I’ll miss those girls. Of course, we promised to keep in touch. Finally, the last suitcase umphed itself closed and was dragged downstairs. We came up by the kitchen stairs and left from the main entrance… I think that was a fine way to leave! I said goodbye to my portraits and thanked them for listening to my nightly waffles, joys and frustrations. Anthony and Fionnuala were to take us up to The Cottage in two cars, as they were going on a family trip into the mountains at the same time. Fionnuala very kindly packed us a ‘doggy bag’ of goodies, which, aside from being kind, turned out to be a wonderful thing. That night, we dined on reheated sausage rolls with Killruddery Christmas cake for dessert. Not bad for a first meal. Kindnesses and fond memories were recalled as we settled into our new home.

I drink a toast to friendships forged!

Technorati Tags: killruddery,goodbye,wwoof,friendship,friends

Stars

Friends

stars in our night time

plotting a path

when we can't see the way


* * * * *

Video - Catch a falling star* * * * *

Photograph by Tatiana Lasevicius

It's all numbers

I've been thinking of numbers a lot this week for one reason or another. On Thursday, I was rather melancholy and thoughtful....

"We're a quarter of the way through the year. I'm pretty much half-way through my life. In terms of my dreams and goals, the clock is ticking - very loudly. My life so far has been one of revving engines, tyres spinning in mud, occasionally moving a few inches ahead, even more occasionally moving ahead by a couple of feet - very often just sinking further into the mire.

My tendency to find humour in life has been a survival tactic. If I don't, the misery and, yes, bitterness may just swallow me up. Like many take a pill against what ails them, I take smiles, laughter and positive snippets daily, sometimes hourly. It's my 'silver bullet' against melancholy."

Thankfully, my inner ponderings were disturbed by the arrival of my student. I guess my point was that I felt I was running out of time to get to where I want to be. I've been accused of being Miss Glass-half-full before. I don't mind that, except that it doesn't always come naturally. It often takes a lot of work : )  Luckily, working on being happy isn't odious and it does actually make life a whole lot more tolerable.

So... numbers... for one, I don't mind getting older. I'll never be one of those people who celebrate their 29th birthday till they're 90. Age doesn't worry me. It never has. As a teen, I found it easy to get into age restricted movies... probably because I wasn't trying as hard as the other girls with high heels and makeup. I'd pitch up in jeans and trainers with no makeup and casually go in while they seethed in their dolled-up glory. Now, apparently, I don't look old enough to have a grown daughter *shrug* Hey... I earned this grey hair. It deserves recognition! *laugh*

Thanks so, so much for all the birthday wishes. It made me, once again, aware of how big my tapestry of friendship is. I had wishes from far and near... and even from some fairly unexpected sources. It did, however, make me miss my loved ones terribly. Thank goodness for technology! Of course, the day wouldn't have been complete without a 2 hour power failure. Jurgis woke me with a mug of coffee and a bowl of hot oats. Nice! My morning student had cancelled, so the day was pretty much free. For supper, I made us some crumbed chicken with roasted veg. I wanted to make the magic chocolate pudding, but the power failure nixed that idea. Yes, I do cook with gas, but the recipe was on my computer. Not a big issue. There was ample delicious cyber-cake going around ;)

More on numbers, I got a belated birthday gift today. My student this morning announced that the metro is finally open from 4:30am to 11:30pm!!! Now why didn't they tell me that last week. It would have made my logic puzzle sooo much easier to work out! It's an easy 20 minute walk to the metro and from there, a quick hop right into town. I've been waiting for this for years!

I stitched up a pair of shorts for Jurgis today. I've decided to turn the waffle weave fabric I posted about into a hooded cape for winter. It's just warm enough, I think, and I do love capes. It won't be a particularly long one, but hopefully it will be enough to keep this garoa off. Yep, we've gone from torrents into garoa... a fine, drizzly rain that swirls in all directions; thus rendering umbrellas quite useless. Tomorrow, I'll be preparing for the week. I have 2 confirmed new students and one half-confirmed. Then I have to reorganise my schedule and transport. I can leave for work a whole hour later!!! Yes, that is how much the metro cuts off my travel time!

Night everyone! Thanks again for making my birthday special : )

Who is your friend?

Totally not my photography, just in case you needed to ask ; )
Really. Who do you call a friend? Is it the person who chats to you every day? Is it the one who always comments on your blogs? Or perhaps sends you a Christmas card? Is it the one you pop out for coffee with? Perhaps it's the one you share your deepest secrets with... or uncontrollable laughs. Is your friend the one you can call when things are looking dark? Do you call your friend when things are looking good? What about when you think the friend needs you? Do you call? Or wait to be called. I could go on a long time here : ) 

Thing is, friendships shift and change and brighten and fade.... kaleidoscopic colours adding prisms of beauty to our lives.


Have you ever looked into a kaleidoscope and watched the colours change, seemingly in endless layers? It doesn't take much movement to create new prisms of colour, shifting, changing... constantly changing. When friendships fade, it hurts... very much, but I'm grateful for the richness of colour they gave my life. New friendships are fun to explore, discovering their depth and getting comfortable with their hues.

When I was a young girl, I dreamt of having a 'best friend forever'. As a teen, that longing just intensified with the usual teen angst. By the time I grew up and looked around at all my friends and their respective 'best friends', I had missed that particular boat - regular moving around saw to that. Well, I wasn't really alone. I found myself married and creating a new and very special friendship with my daughters... and husband, of course. In later years, my daughter was to become that elusive 'bff'. That will never change. It's the one friendship that strikes a very deep chord in me for a thousand reasons. It's also colourful, shifting and changing as we each grow. Luckily our bond is tighter than a regular friendship.

The friendships I wanted to mention here are somewhat more intangible, something we don't see very often and can often wait a whole lifetime to experience. They don't usually stick around for a long time either, though sometimes they do.

The top image was so perfect to illustrate what I wanted to say in a most unusual way. A little while back, I reached out to a number of friends, asking for help. Help came, but in a very unexpected way. It came through friends, yes... then it came through friends of friends... and the net widened to include friends of those friends. A chain was formed. I had people writing to me who were referred by a friend who knew a friend who received an email or call from a friend I wrote to. I heard from friends I hadn't heard from in a long time. I heard from total strangers who are now friends. For those dying to know, Tat will be staying with people who I already know are wonderful people (just the fact that they're opening their home to a total stranger), are South African and even come from the same neighbourhood we did!! Yes, Katey... they're from Hillcrest! ♫ It's a small world after all... ♫

Anyway, the point I was trying to make with this is that we never know where friendship will come from, be it made of the sturdy day-to-day stuff of sharing life's moments or a previously unimagined distant connection that fits so well. I want to thank all of you who responded... from the bottom of my heart. It meant the world to me!

Ps. Katey, while I was looking for a kaleidoscopic image, I found something you can use with your kidlets that looks like huge fun! Kaleidoscopic milk!

Monday Mobservations

Ok, the title sounded funky, so I'm using it : )  Only one 'mob'-servation... I live in coffee country. Major league coffee country. The 'cafezinho' here is a way of life. It goes deeper than football. Football is a religion. Coffee is as natural as breathing.

Because of the school holidays, the trip I take with my Wednesday student is cut way short. There's a fraction of the amount of traffic on the roads in the early mornings. We stopped at a coffee shop half way. He made an interesting observation. Brazilians don't meet for coffee and friendship or chat. Ever. They may meet for a quick business arrangement, but not otherwise. Friendship and casual chat is reserved for beers and pubs. Coffee is an otherwise solitary affair.


Photo taken years ago not long after we first arrived here with a dinky 1mp camera
I was reminded of this this morning when a friend said she was meeting another friend for coffee. It's one of the things I've lamented for years here, that I can't call up a friend to meet somewhere for coffee or tea. It's just not done.

I've spent the weekend working on a photo for an old client. She always has a real challenge for me, usually involving a super-tiny, badly scanned photo that needs to be printed on a billboard. Ok, not a billboard, but you get the idea. This time, she wants a friend's face put onto a model's body. Friend in question is pale... very pale (and pixelised) and the model is lovely high-resolution with a deep golden tan. The model has flyaway hair *picture fans on the set*. The client wants me to tame the flyaway model hair too. The model in question is on the beach with shrubbery behind her. Eh... yes, a challenge.

When I was leaving for my kidlet, I stood at the bus stop dancing a little on the spot. *disclaimer: This isn't dancing in the normal sense. It is very much just bouncing a little on my feet* I can't stand still at bus stops. A guy on a bicycle came past.... I think he was training for some cycling event by the way he was dressed.... and yelled, "That's right! Keep dancing!" haha! Awesome! Then a truck driver laughed and yelled something too, but he was moving faster, so I lost what he said, but his thumbs up spoke volumes. People tend to stare at me. I'm a freak here. At least I know now that it's not because of my two heads or something. 

The kidlet made yet another mask for me. Is she trying to say something? They're all heart masks, in fairness to her.

This weekend, I came down with a boil between my eyes. I was swollen and looked like I'd been given two black eyes. That was Saturday morning. By Saturday night, I was snapping at everything and everyone and really weepy. I'm prone to the dastardly things and they usually get really bad. The last one I had around my eyes ended up with me getting emergency drainage. It was not pretty. My medical status here being what it is, I figured I have to do something drastic on the weekend. I didn't have any nasturtium (a natural antibiotic) on hand, so I made do with plenty of acupressure and EFT. This morning I woke up and it was all gone... totally! Weeeeeeeeeee!! *grins* I don't know if the acupressure did it or the EFT or just sheer, "You're not going to get me this time!" attitude, but it's gone!!! Can you tell I'm happy??

It's a perfect day. The sun is shining just so, the bumble bees were all over the Ipê tree, the kids are playing and making happy playing noises instead of screaming. Life is good.

Random thoughts

You are being watched...

Intently...

Only by some...

The cats truly believe they have dinner rights here.

The dogs believe they have sleep rights. Actually, they can't be blamed. It's too hot to do anything else, unless you're a stray cat believing you should be fed... Now.

I want that "You can't scare me. I'm an ESL teacher" mug.

There's a Metro Santana bus going from Zelina. Figured Tat would want to know ; )

Papers finally going off to be licked and stamped. That's the first step.

Found an agency for ESL teachers in Edinburgh. Now that's Kewl!

Jurgis could earn $300 - $700 per DAY as a body guard. He just needs to get into shape. On the other hand, I have his body guard services for free. Can't complain.

My student cancelled again! I spent 1h30 on the bus. She cancelled less than half an hour before her class AFTER I called to confirm her class this morning when she said, "Com certeza!" (Of course we'll have class!) Argh!

I got a McD's promotion in my mailbox for a grape smoothie. "Just print and take it to your nearest McD's Cafe." No problem. I took it in. "This promotion is no longer valid." Uh, yes it is. I pointed to the date for April. "Yes, but it is no longer valid for this branch." Huh?

Small... medium... large. Pequeno... medio.... grande. Lost in translation... or something. When we arrived here, I was confused because coffee came in two sizes, small and large (a 'large' being a whopping 150ml). I'd ask for a 'grande' (large), but was told they don't have large, only 'medio' (medium). Hm. So I got into the habit of ordering a 'café medio'. Today, I ordered a 'café medio' and she brings me a 'pequeno' (small). I questioned it and she says, "We don't have 'medio', only 'grande'" What the heck? Out of TWO sizes, she couldn't figure out that 'medio' is bigger than minuscule, which is what the 'pequeno' realistically translates to.

The table tops at Shopping Iguatemi are actually large floor tiles. Ingenious!

I got to speak to Debbie. We haven't spoken since I was pregnant with Tatiana. There was a lot to catch up with, but the conversation was remarkably 'same' as though time hadn't passed. We laughed really hard at some of the memories, like the time she opened the door to the new prospective buyers for their house and I went bouncing down their wooden steps on my butt, knocking the pot plants at the base flying. I'm known for making an entrance.

My friend, Alan, from way back when posted on his Facebook: "Every single one of you are on my friends list as a result of a conscious decision. I am not only glad to count you as friends but also as family!" 'Tis true, you know... each friend is consciously chosen and all good : )

It's hot. Yep... again and yes, I know I've said it before.

 

del.icio.us Tags: friend,immigration,thoughts,friends,work,students,brazil

♫♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪♫

May the Joy of the Season
Fill your heart and home

May the Love of Friends and Family
Surround you where you go

May our Wishes for your Happiness
Follow you through the year

~ o O o ~



My day started out wonderfully with a phone call from Hamish. Coffee and gifts followed. I loved them all, the lavender candles, the gorgeous, super-soft socks that I'm so tempted to use as a pillow (these socks are really the softest thing I have ever felt!), a new keyboard (mine has been limping for a while now), a webcam. Yes, I finally caved in on the webcam. Students have asked for it and with Tat going to England, the webcam will be nice. Tat rather liked her beret. She's wanted one for ages. Jorge, I think, was most enamoured with his bottle of Chevas ; )


The webcam was fun to play with. I still think it will take courage to use with students, so we'll see how that goes.


I did manage to talk to a couple of friends today. It was great! Thanks : ) Our most profound apologies for the bad singing =Þ In short, it's been a lovely day. I hope your day was also good.

♫♪... and a Happy New Year! ♪♫

 

del.icio.us Tags: friends,gifts,xmas,family

It's a kind of madness

This week has been one of changes... again. Some I can mention, others not. One of those changes was set in motion by Jaime (yep, girl... you're to blame for this one). Jaime blogged about NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. I'd seen it a few years in a row, but never even briefly considered it. What made me look at it this year?

Some time back, I started writing a book. I think three people know about it, aside from Jurgis and Tat. I never spoke about it. It's too fragile, prone to injury due to the shards of broken ego and numerous other dangers 'out there'. Along came NaNoWriMo. I grabbed at it gingerly, hoping it would push me into finishing the book. I need to finish the book, for me. It's just something I want to do... eventually, not because it's a book, but because I want the story told.

Do I have time to write 50 000 words this month? Not really. The plan is to use my bus time and times I wait for my students to put as much writing in as possible. Will I do it? Who knows. The only way I'll find out is if I try, right?

I did something very unusual when I joined NaNoWriMo, though. I connected with Brazilians who are writing too. I don't go out looking for social events with the locals. I'm afraid my Portuguese will fail me and my person-to-person social skills aren't what they used to be after all this time. Not only did I connect with them, but I agreed to go to a meeting with them and I was even prepared to go alone! That was a big step for me. Luckily Tat came with. I'm glad she did. She lights up any occasion : )     

I needn't have worried. We started out at a book store (ooooooh so many books!!). I was browsing, trying to look inconspicuous, when a girl came up to me and mumbled something about NaNo and writing. Tat joined us and we started looking for the rest of the 'gang'. I said the most sensible thing to do was to write out a sign and hold it up the way they do at airports. This bookstore was crowded!!  I scrawled a sort-of sign on my notebook and Tat walked around holding it up. I think the other two girls were cringing! It was so funny! We couldn't take a photo, as they're extremely picky about photos in shops here. Tat had them announce that the NaNoWriMo group was waiting at the pocket book section and slowly the others joined. We ended up with 7 people in our group.

From the book store, we headed out to what turned out to be an extremely noisy bakery/cafeteria. I heard about 10% of the conversation around me, but it was still enjoyable. We laughed a lot. I didn't have my camera on me (next time I'll make a point of taking it), but Aline, the girl who organised the gathering had hers. I'm grateful. They were all lovely people. I'm glad I met them. I think we have new friends. In their favour, they managed to listen to my ramblings without laughing at my Portuguese. Oh the notepad Tat is holding? That is what had NaNoWriMo scrawled on it. It was small here in the restaurant, but it might as well have been a billboard in the much quieter book store!

All in all, it was a good day. I'm glad I went. Time will tell if anything will come of this. If I succeed, I succeed. If not... I'm not going to cry over it : )

 

del.icio.us Tags: brasil,-book,nanowrimo,friends,sao paulo,writing

Beautiful people

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

del.icio.us Tags: people,friends,quote,beautiful

I play with snowballs

A snowflake is a very fragile thing, by itself.... but just look what happens when they stick together!

Some time ago, a dear friend posted a blog to which I commented that small things add up to a big difference. She added, "Keep the luck rolling!" I later threw in a "Sending smiles your way. Keep the luck rolling! Hey... think if you roll the luck that end and I roll it this end, the luck will meet in the middle and create one big luck-ball". Can you see where this is headed? From that, she started a movement... the snowball movement! "I like that image, I want a good luck snowball effect! You know, it rolls down the hill getting bigger and BIGGER..."

You've heard of the 'butterfly effect'. Well, we have a 'snowball effect'. Our snowball effect has since evolved. It's no longer restricted to luck, but to happiness and all things good.

"Snowballs" has become a catch-phrase for us. Whenever we want to send loads of the good stuff, we just send snowballs.

Naturally, as the most snow I have ever played with is a thin layer on the side of the road in the Drakensberg mountains, the photo above isn't taken by me.

Throwing snowballs your way! I feel cooler already : )

 

del.icio.us Tags: snowballs,happiness

Random access memory

All the computer boffs will think I'm going to talk about my pc, but it's really just my memory... the one I access randomly for randomly unimportant and occasionally important stuff. I started this blog yesterday. My pc shut down on me (ok, so there's the pc bit) and I lost it all. I didn't have time to go back and redo it. Aren't you lucky?

I miss my friends. I see and talk to more people now, but nothing replaces talking to my friends.

Luckily I'm too busy to let it get to me too much.I'm loving my birthday present... a book on reflexology I've wanted for a long time. Transit time is perfect for study.

Having no secrets from the past to haunt me is freeing. Ok, we all keep one or two secrets, but, for the most part, nothing is hidden anymore.

A note to someone who is very important to my very existence... where you are is defined by the people in your life, whether you see them daily or whether you talk to them long distance. A friendship over thousands of miles can be just as fulfilling and real, possibly even more so, than a friendship with someone you see regularly. You are loved.

I'm going to advertise. Then I will be busier. That is probably good.

On Saturday, Tat and I went to one of the newer shopping centers, Shopping Bourbon. Snazzy! It even has a Starbucks. Laugh if you like. I've never seen one before. To give you an idea, most shopping centers have benches. This shopping center has leather armchairs. Cushy! Drool-worthy stores too.

I seem to have a perpetual blocked nose and sore throat from the pollution now.

The photo is a random one from my archives, taken at São Paulo zoo. I've forgotten what the camera looks like. I'm missing my little point and shoot all the more now.

 

Technorati Tags: thoughts,friends,family

Isn't it amazing?

 

I was sitting tonight, watching Specs sniff my fingers, then rub against my hand. I thought again who absolutely amazing the trust of an animal is. It is something that produces a feeling of awe in me... something so profound. Take Maluco. He was my baby. I was there at his birth. I miss him so much. He was the ultimate farm cat. He had no need for humans in his life, being totally self-sufficient, but every day, when I called, he'd come running home and sleep holding my mouse captive (yes, my mouse is under him in this photo) and at night, he'd sleep at the foot of my bed. When he was injured, he dragged himself home... how, I don't know. No one could touch him. He was in incredible pain, but he submitted to my nursing. He was extremely leery of other people after that, other than the three of us, of course. Trust.

One of my favourite quotes:
"Many of you have forgotten this truth
but you must never forget it:
you remain responsible, forever,
for what you have tamed."
by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I so often wonder how people can do harm to animals, especially those we have tamed... whose trust we have gained.

Then I got thinking... it is the same with my friends. I so often feel in awe of the friendship that is offered to me. It is a little like taming, isn't it? Only a little. It boils down to gaining the trust of another, especially when there is no need or tie that keeps them there.

Amazing...

Technorati Tags: maluco,pets,trust,thoughts,friends

Goodbye my friend

 

Goodbye My Friend - Casey Stratton

 

Felicity, I said goodbye to you a while back, when you got to the point where talking was too painful. All the pain and confusion is over. You are at peace now and in a good place, but, oh my friend... you are so missed.

 

Into the dim lit, bare walls of my world,
You entered, bringing light and life to me,
The vivid colors, painted with a swirl
Of wit and charm, of personality,
With tender care, you added comfort, warmth,
And images that line the now bright walls.
I look upon them fondly, bringing forth
A thankfulness that you walk in these halls
With me; our friendship has become a part
Of my world now; it has its special place,
Within my being, life, and in my heart,
Your name hangs right beside your smiling face.
Rememb'ring just how drab these walls had been,
I have to thank you for the light, my friend.

Tat wrote this poem, "All I can do", for me, not long after we were told of Fel's prognosis:

All I Can Do
All I can do
Is try and make you smile,
Watch you suffer,
Cry out in pain -
Why didn’t I foresee this?
Why can’t I make it go away?
Holding your hand,
I breathe deep again,
Wipe away another tear
Wish I had known,
Found some miracle cure
How could this happen?
Why did it happen?
You of all people
My heart shatters,
My world falls apart.
Please don’t leave,
I need you.
© Tatiana Lasevicius

Technorati Tags: fel,cancer,friends

Making a difference

My friend, Michelle, on blogger gave me this award. Thank you, Michelle! You brightened my day. I found her through a poem she wrote, and the friendship grew. I am honoured to be on her friends list, never mind her thinking my blog is worth reading. If anyone deserves this award, she does. Her blogs are not only very readable, but speak to the heart. She's 'good people' : ) I would give her the award, but she already has it. I do know that I need to find people to give this award to. Shouldn't be hard... there are some amazing bloggers on my list.
First off, what do I look for in a blog? I like blogs where I can see a little of the soul of the writer. I like personal blogs, not blogs copied from the latest e-mail or news report, though I do happily read those too. I like blogs that tell me about your life and where you are. I like blogs that let me connect to a person on the other end. Herewith, a few, who, in my opinion, for various reasons, deserve the "Excellent blog award".

1. Kippy - Kippy always has something thought-provoking to offer, and often fun too, not to mention the visual appeal of her photography
2. Heather - Her photos and words have a deep emotional appeal. On most things, we speak the same language. Her blog is for contacts only though
3. Eileen - Her world is just so different and she presents it in an entertaining and very readable way. Her art is a joy to experience
4. Lisa - Fun and funky. Her world is multicoloured, much like her little car. Her blogs are never less than fascinating
5. Port Elizabeth Daily Photo - because the place means so much to me and the photos are sooo well worth it!
6. Libby - Open, honest. If anyone can look on the bright side, it is her and she cooks the most fascinating food. Reading about her travels would be enough to have me going back
7. Catherine - a relatively new friend. I love her blogging style. She takes the punches life gives in her stride and laughs at them. I love her outlook on life. Just her avatar makes me smile

Ah... I'm leaving it at 7. There are more here who are wonderful bloggers who are just a little quiet right now. Then there are those who are great bloggers by their interaction with other bloggers... their friendship. I was just saying to a friend yesterday that I have a wonderful contacts list. Most of those on my list are really good people and friends worth having : )

I found this video on a page I visited. Do watch it. I think it would be incredible if we could all turn to at least one person, acknowledge them and tell them how much we appreciate them... and why!

 

And to close... some reading for my photographer friends: Click here

Technorati Tags: inspiration,encourage,acknowledge,friends,video,photography

Looking back... looking forward

I've been gone so long. It's just been crazy around here! Nah... I lie. I wish it had been crazy. Let me rephrase. I've been gone so long because I've been going crazy... or is it because I am crazy? No... don't answer that.

As you may remember, I was looking for my brothers. So far, I've come up with loads of dead ends. Then I figured that I'd try looking for people who may know how to find them or at least be 'on location' to find them, which sent me on a rollercoaster of memories. I started with Facebook. I have tried looking for some of these people before and come up blank. This time, I entered a name and there they were. I was suddenly finding heaps of people, from my best friend through primary school through to the best man at our wedding and many more. It was as though someone had switched on a light. This was both wonderful and terrifying. There are many memories and experiences I'd love to have gone without recalling. Contact with these people has brought all those to the fore again. Of course, not all have come back to me. A couple, I am sad about, but others I don't mind that much.

For so long, while living here in Brazil, it has bothered me that there are so few people in my life who have seen me face to face, who know me, and still consider a connection to me worthwhile. I regularly hear accounts of my friends getting together with each other and, while I am thrilled for those friends, I long to have the same thing, though I know it is out of the question for now. I became a little obsessed with the looking up of old friends. Here were people who have known me face to face, who have been with me through some... interesting times and who still accepted me. A few have even been glad to have made contact again. I was sitting here tonight though and thinking.... I can't go back. Going back is an illusion. I know that sounds weird to you, perhaps, but to me, it was something I had to face. I have to make friends with these people all over again, some easier than others, but so much has changed. We've all moved on. Any friendships I pick up now again would have to be built on as though new. I can't build on history. So I got my wish... in a way. I can't meet with a friend for coffee now, but I have had times where I've sat and talked over coffee or a glass of wine with a good friend. Those memories will have to carry me for a little while longer.

On the subject of 'a little while longer'... and going forward...
Many folk ask me whether I've had news on immigration yet. The answer is... if I had news, I'd have shouted it from the rooftops, so.... no. We have, I think, until at least the end of May to have heard about the last application. Not much time left, is there? I suppose I should say... well, there's always next year. We've said that every year so far. What's one more? I hate even thinking about that. Everything in life has a reason. There is a reason for this too. It will all work out.

In all, I was in something of a muddled funk... on a rollercoaster ride all of my own, so I haven't been terribly talkative. Balance has never been my strong point... balancing my moods, my activities, my various obsessions. I'm trying to find the balance now between new friends and old. I'm still here though...

Technorati Tags: immigration,family,friends,south-africa,relationships,search,hamish,george